Happy 30th Birthday- you don’t look a day over 43! No one lives forever- but you must be pretty close! Happy Birthday! I know you’re vegan, gluten-free and paleo so I’ve eaten your birthday cake for you. If your party starts after 8pm I’m not coming. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the oldest friend of all?” YOU! Happy Birthday, Queen! Let’s skip work and party instead! Happy Birthday! Welcome to the Grey Hair Club! Happy Birthday! That’s a lot of birthday drinks before retirement! Happy Birthday, let’s get drinks! If you’re old enough to remember Y2K you’re old enough to start using anti-wrinkle cream. Your knees are shot, your back is out, you need glasses to read the menu- are you sure you’re only turning 40? Happy Birthday, oldie! You’re finally at the age where spending your birthday alone is a dream come true, not a living nightmare. We’re too old to go out for your birthday, let’s stay in and drink three bottles of wine like classy adults! “Forever Young”- more like “Forever Exhausted!” – Happy Birthday! My birthday wish for you is that someone will ask to see your I.D. Happy Birthday from your waaaaaaay younger best friend! Happy Birthday! I forgot to buy you a gift, but are you really surprised? Oh well, there’s always next year!Īnother year hurtling through space around a fiery sun- Happy Birthday, Earthling! Like a fine cheese, you are stinky, don’t do well in the sun and just keep getting better with age. I’m sorry I only know my friend’s birthdays if they’re on Facebook! Happy Belated Birthday
Wish I could be with you on your Birthday! Happy Birthday from way over here! Happy Birthday to the only woman I’ve ever known who has been 39 for the last five years. Let them eat cake! Happy Birthday, Queen! On your birthday you’re allowed to eat cake for breakfast- Happy Birthday! They say it’s the thought that counts- and I definitely thought about getting you a gift. Team Chocolate Cake vs Team Vanilla Cake: Either way, you’re a winner! Happy Birthday! I was going to get you a gift, but what do you get for the man who has everything? Happy Birthday! I know you said you didn’t want a gift for your birthday, but I couldn’t help myself! Happy Birthday! Woof woof woof! Translation: Happy Birthday from your best friend- let’s play fetch! I made the cake myself! Ok by that that I mean I bought it from the grocery store on my way here, but nobody needs to know! Happy Birthday!Įvery Hour is Happy Hour When it’s Your Birthday! I know you hate surprises, so this is your warning: 20 of your closest friends and family are hiding in your living room waiting to wish you “Happy Birthday”. I hate that you’re a Gemini, but I love that we’re best friends- Happy Birthday! Rodney Dangerfield Funny Birthday Wishes for a Friendĭrinking alone on your birthday is sad…drinking with your best friend on your birthday is a party! Happy Birthday! Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece? You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.Įventually, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. I think all this talk about age is foolish. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed. The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything. One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.įor all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.Īs you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. Our comedy writers have gone the extra mile and created customized messages for friends, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, dads and moms.īut first, let’s start with the 20 funniest birthday quotes of all-time, which can be included with any birthday message.
Here is the largest list of original funny birthday wishes on the internet.
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